Holy Sh*t. This has got to be the wildest NFL offseason in history. You would have been locked on Shutter Island if you put forward, a few weeks ago, some of the trades happening at the moment. I have listed my wildest moves below, which include free agent signings and trades. This is only part one, as we have a mountain to get through. Tyreek Hill going to the Dolphins has knocked me for six but is only featured at number three on the list. Tom Brady coming back does not make the list because he never really retired. Two months with the wife and kids and he was outta there. Check out the full list to see what tops the Cheetah’s move to sunny South Beach.

1 – Russell Wilson’s Trade to the Denver Broncos

This was not as shocking as Hill’s move to Miami, but the massive haul sent in return for the future Hall of Fame QB is something to behold. Denver has sent QB Drew Lock, TE Noah Fant, DL Shelby Harris, 2 1sts, 2 2nds and a 5th round pick for Wilson and a fourth-round pick. Three players and five picks for one player is monstrous but Wilson could be the key to Denver’s Super Bowl aspirations. They were only a QB away last year and now they have their man.

2 – DeShaun Watson Trade to the Cleveland Browns

It’s a depressing read when the big news agencies have to put the number of a sexual assault line at the top of their articles before breaking down Watson’s trade. While his criminal charges have been dropped, he still faces 22 civil suits. While these are still only allegations, and he is innocent until proven guilty, it is scary to see how much the NFL and its major news outlets are just skimming over the case. The trade has been done and Watson has been awarded the largest contract in terms of guaranteed money in NFL history ($230m over five years) to move to the Cleveland Browns. He will also receive a base salary of $1million dollars in year one because they expect him to get suspended – hence meaning he won’t lose any major cash for missing games. We’ll see how the civil suits pan out, but all will likely be forgotten should he bring the city a Super Bowl. My beloved Texans have received a monster haul in return.

3 – Tyreek Hill’s Trade to the Miami Dolphins

WTF. This is definitely the wildest trade of the offseason. The NFL is tripping. The Dolphins are giving Hill the largest non-QB contract in NFL history with a four-year $120mil package.

The Chiefs are giving up one of their star men but are receiving the following:

• 2022 1st round
• 2022 2nd round
• 2022 4th round
• 2023 4th round
• 2023 6th round

As Rams GM Les Snead once said, ‘fuck them picks’ and one thing is for certain, I can’t wait to watch the Dolphins play this year. New coach Mike McDaniels (ex OC for 49ers) is an offensive genius and with his new weapons should have the Dolphins firing on all cylinders. The Dolphins have also added WR Cedric Wilson, OT Terron Armstead (propa signing), RB Chase Edmonds, DE Emmanuel Ogbah and many more. Not to mention Jaylen Waddle maturing in year two. Dolphins’ fans right now:

4 – Davante Adams Trade to the Las Vegas Raiders

This nearly knocked me off my seat for a number of reasons. The first being, Aaron Rodgers had signed his massive $200m dollar extension to stay in Green Bay and Adams still left. The second, Rodgers knew that Adams could be leaving all along. Third being, the current best QB-WR duo being split up was unimaginable a month ago. Adams seems so happy to pair back up with college QB Derek Carr and this is giving the Raiders a massive boost with the AFC West being so stacked. Can’t wait to see Adams in the Raiders gear. Green Bay receive LV’s 2022 1st and 2nd round picks. He was the highest paid WR for five days…

5 – Christian Kirk signs with the Jacksonville Jaguars

This is wild for a different reason. The Jaguars have signed Christian Kirk to a four-year $72m dollar. Tell me you’re a poverty franchise without telling me you’re a poverty franchise. Have fun, Jags.

6 – Von Miller signs with the Buffalo Bills

33-year-old Von Miller has put pen to paper on a six-year $120m dollar deal with the Bills. The two-time Super Bowl champ made himself a bucket load of cash with his offseason performance and is undoubtedly looking forward to joining a stacked team. His deal is averaging out at $17.5m per year for the first four years and $51m is guaranteed. So basically, it’s a 3/4-year deal but it still is pretty crazy for a guy his age. He is genetic freak and a huge help for the younger guys, so it should work out for Buffalo should he stay healthy.

7 – Matt Ryan’s Trade to the Indianapolis Colts

Someone give Colts GM Chris Ballard the Noble Prize for NFL trades. The Colts receive the solid Ryan and only had to give up a third rounder for the future Hall of Famer. The Colts are stacked and are only really needing a decent QB to at least contend in the AFC, so this is a great move for them. The Falcons also take the $40.5m cap hit. Prayers up Falcons’ fans.

8 – JC Jackson signs with the LA Chargers

The ball hawk that is JC Jackson has signed a monster five-year, $82.5m dollar deal to join the Chargers. The ex-Patriot CB was dominant in 2021 and it was surprising to see him go. The Chargers have made some serious moves this offseason and this one tops it for me, as the AFC West has the best QB division without a doubt.

J.